I was reading 'The Dancing Wu Li Masters' by Gary Zukav. The book had been with me for years. But this time I was ready for it. I feel it bridged so many different cities of thoughts in my mind. Then a dear friend recommended "The Seat of the Soul" that Gary wrote a decade later. And I was blown away. Loved the vast vista I saw thru his words. It has been inspiring me to express more via abstract imagery.
Our relationships, our personal goals, our emotions, all get rather heavy and difficult to navigate sometimes. Taking the big picture view and seeing it all as energy flowing infinitely is rather like sitting by the ocean and just surrendering to the view. Seeing the interconnectedness between all that I desire and all that I apparently don't desire is making me feel less like a victim and more like a creator.
Veena and I often chat about our family members needs and the many roles we play. About how to wake up and feel inspired on days when the weather or heavy emotions swirl and pull us down. We have different ways to cope. I am no longer okay with just coping. I want to thrive. I want to bust out of my thought patterns and see infinite possibilities even in the most sticky situations.
A birthday, an anniversary, a Christmas, etc comes along and suddenly I find myself resenting the holidays. Feeling pressure to deliver on promises, on self imposed expectations and more. Did I bake anything? Did I buy or make a gift that would be appreciated? Did I create a festive environment in my home? I have been coaching myself to ease into the day. To ground myself and then set an intention to the day and then commence to work. And slowly, the sticky moments are easier to live thru because if i'm awake enough, the tape in my head is no longer tuned to channel KFKD (check out www.shmoop.com/bird-by-bird/part-2-chapter-17-summary.html for a quick synopsis or read her incredible book Bird by Bird). Instead its the channel of infinite possibilities, an innate trusting, that the way I look at things changes the very molecules I am looking at. So surely all is well.
I know this needs a serious expansion of trust and I should probably devote pages to explaining the connections here. However i'm going to trust you will check the books out and see for yourself. Or share your experiences in creating your world. All of this made me expand into my art in new ways. I feel ready to express without feeling pressure to do well. I suffer less and less from the 'log kya kahenge' syndrome (What will People say). And becoming more myself. I am happy to end the year and begin the year on these words from 'The Seat of the Soul':
Only thru responsible choice can you choose consciously to cultivate and nourish the needs of your soul, and to challenge and release the wants of your personality. This is the choice of clarity and wisdom, the choice of conscious transformation. It is the choice of the higher-frequency energy currents of love, forgiveness, and compassion. It is the choice to follow the voice of your higher self, your soul. It is the decision to open yourself to the guidance and assistance of your guides and Teachers. It is the path that leads consciously to authentic power.